Saturday, January 30, 2010

Too hot to handle

I heard a certain farming community in Australia have annual chilli growing competitions. One of the contests was to determine who can come out with the hottest chilli in the state.

A Malaysian wife of an Australian friend heard about the competition and was curious enough to want to know how hot were the chillies they could cultivate. She was sceptical because she thought the teeny-weeny dynamite chilli padi from home was supposed to be the hottest thing this side of the globe and nothing can beat its kick.

The hubby was quietly amused but he managed to grab a handful of the best samples after the competition was over and gave them to the wife. "Here honey, try these and let's hear your verdict."

The wife, following her favorite rice cooking method from home decided to throw some of the chillis into the pot of rice she was cooking.

The result: She had to throw away the whole pot of rice. Nobody in the family could eat it. It was too hot.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hey! Not over my head!

Accidents won't be called 'accidents' if we can foresee them. But sometimes with a little care and common sense we can prevent accidents from happening.

If you're running a restaurant and hire waiters and waitresses to serve customers, I'm sure some of the things you train your workers to do or not to do should come as a matter of priority.

Yes, your waiters' and waitresses' job scope is to serve customers. But I would put certain safety procedures as a major requirement. Along with customer service skills, your people should be well trained to safeguard customers as well as themselves while performing their duties, whether or not your restaurant subscribe to the ISO 14000 certification. It could also prevent litigation or compensation costs.

The following episode could have been a potential disaster if my nephew had not been watching his baby. Never mind that an accident didn't happen. Rather, it was prevented from happening. We could all take that as a lesson learnt.

We were having dinner at a club restaurant and nephew requested for some hot water. The waiter came over with a jug and stood behind the baby who was sitting quietly on his baby chair. Someone handed him a glass. Noticing that the waiter was about to pour the hot water into the glass, right over the baby's head, nephew quickly shielded the baby's head with his hands at the same time giving the waiter an earful. That was the first time I saw my nephew lose his cool.

I'm not sure if he took the case to the captain or supervisor. Of course, the argument would have been, 'Well, nothing happened, right?' So, what's the complaint?' That's normal reaction. Nothing went wrong, so no case.

But I certainly hope that waiter learned an important lesson: Never transfer anything from one container to another over someone's head. And a baby is certainly someone important.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Eat for Charity - Yeah, that's right....

Dine for Haiti

Damansara Village Steamboat
is organising a fund raising event for the victims of the devastating earthquake in

Dine for Haiti. Charity dinner event.


Friday, February 5, 2010. From 5.30pm to 11.30 pm


Damansara Village Steamboat Restaurant
1067, Jalan Jenjarum, Kg. Sg. Kayu Ara, off Jalan SS23/10, 47400 Petaling Jaya.
Tel: 03 7803 1832.

GPS coordinates: Latitude: 3° 7'26.64"N Longitude: 101°36'46.71"E

* Come and dine on our fresh, live sea-food with our secret recipe herbal soup steamboat. All items on menu at normal prices.
* Spot the celebrities.
* Participate in Celebrity Item Auctions.
* Photograph with the celebrities.

ALL proceeds go to the Haiti earthquake victims.

This event will not be publicised in the mainstream media. It is NOT an event to generate publicity for Damansara Village Steamboat Restaurant. It is a simple opportunity to give something back to fellow human beings in need. Please help to spread the word about this event through your blogs, Facebook, Twitter, coffee morning groups....


List of celebrities participating in the event (subject to change without notice:-

1: Yasmin Yusuff, radio deejay, host, former Ms. Malaysia/Universe
2. Hans Isaac, actor, producer
3. Amber Chia, super model, actor, brand ambassador
4. Daphne Iking, TV host, actor
5. Andrea Fonseka TV host, former Ms. Malaysia/Universe
6. Ben Ibrahim, TV host

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Depressing things to read

I was reading this crappy piece of opinion.

Then I read some historical, political and economic analysis.

After that I read what this ice-cream seller had to say.

All are depressing things to read about and some parts even confusing to say the least.

I think the way my friend the 'paper-wrapper' thinks, makes the most sense to me. Thanks, kawan. Whatever you've got under your tudung saji, you've made all these things so simple to digest.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Replacement

One of my ex-bosses had a little saying while we watched some workers cut down a tree to put up a building extension: "It takes 15 bloody long years to get a tree to its full height, but it takes only 15 minutes to cut it down!"

While our mango tree slowly withers away, I'm making preparations for its replacement. After all, it takes years for a tree to grow to its full potential, so I need to start early. But it seems my little replacement, the ciku seed, is taking its own sweet time to germinate. Looks like it's going to take some effort on my part to nurture it. The 'parents' come all the way from Kuala Selangor.

After several days seeing nothing emerging I got worried, until I noticed a little crack in one of the seeds that got 'floated' above the soil. Then a day later another of the seeds surfaced and 'anchored' itself into the soil.

Knowing we won't be around to water it, we took it along on our travels. (The story is: We're staying at brother-in-law's. While wife takes care of the cooking and cleaning in the house, I take over some of the son's errands, while he recuperates for a month in hospital of some internal ailment. On top of that, I have an assignment to keep track of).

I covered the little pots with a plastic netting and left them in a corner in their garden. That night, their dogs messed up the pots and chewed the netting to pieces. Fortunately, one of the seedlings survived. Then another seed broke through the surface of the soil in the 2nd pot.

Stick around... especially you tree lovers.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Let's live and learn

nobody lives forever

but let's live and learn

while death is inevitable

live must go on

so take care of life

but live each day

like it's your last

each breath you take

is of great value

the joys of nature

the warmth of friends

for those who love you

do love in return

and keep learning as if

you'll live


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A dad by any other name

A recent name-calling issue tickled some, embarrassed others and riled many who think they have it copyrighted. We are embarrassed because it was made a national issue. Then it became internationally known and our standing took a big knock.

A fellow blogger puts it in such a simple analogy here.

A dad by any other name
loves you just the same
unless you get it wrong in your head
and think you own his name instead

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The home I left behind

in my innocence

i imagined

a beautiful world outside

of bright lights that glitter

far into the night

a wonderous sight

filled with endless pleasure

food, drinks and leisure

until i saw the ugly shadows

lurking behind the smiles

on the faces

of those who hatch evil

in their hearts

scheming to take away

my hard-earned relief

from my toils in daily stress

with heaviness within

I yearned to return

to the home I left behind

only to find

it no longer existed

while I was away

her innocence was stolen

her young heart broken

her character defiled

her purity lost

that sweetness

gone sour

and I moved on

Why does the caterpillar cross the road?

Struggling on the last lap uphill I saw this critter crawling across my path. He was probably about 6 inches long. Fascinated, I watched. Then I remembered my camera.

Meanwhile hanging out on the other side was this one. This reminds me of the dancing lions that come around the neighborhood during Chinese New Year. Perhaps they were having a rendezvous?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Missing - 14 year old girl from Penang

Lee Xiang Yuee age 14 was missing from home since 20th Dec 2009.
She never called back and the last sms received was on 22nd Dec.
handphone no 016-4699023
Parents can be contacted at 012-4669399/0164407889 (Joanne) and 012-4787323 (Kian Soon)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Those Self-Help Books

What do Zig Ziglar, US Anderson, Irene Kassorla, Maxwell Maltz, Dale Carnegie, and Napoleon Hill have in common? They are motivational experts. And they are very rich because we all subscribe to their philosophies and buy their books.

They were a huge influence in my life. They showed me how to survive by thinking positive thoughts and that all things are possible if I think so. Some of them taught me how to feel rich even without the huge filthy sums of money in my bank account, or floating around in the stock market. Most of all they taught me to get through with life, even when things looked so bad I felt like I was in a hole in the ground.

That wasn't all true though. I wanted to be rich by thinking like Napoleon. But, sheesh, it was the earlier Napoleon that kept creeping into my mind. You know, the guy who they said was "born apart", the one who allegedly said, "Able was I, I saw Elba…" I guess if I had kept at it I'd probably have ended up in St Helena. Only I was a few hundred years too late. Probably that saved me.

But about being in a hole in the ground, I did find myself, several times. Somehow those lessons helped. But I'd rather think the thing that got me out of those holes was the upbringing and survival instincts I inherited. The same thing that kept my grand-father in the boat from China until he landed here and then kept going until he cashed in of old age some time before the Japanese landed in Malaya. At least he was spared those crazy times. And it was the very same thing that kept my dad going, working the land to keep eight kids fed, clothed, and schooled.

Anyway, some of these guys taught me to work hard. So I did. I spent a whole part of my youth working my ass off, sometimes right through the night. OK that wasn't totally true either. I tried to avoid working late whenever possible. I noticed what happened to a cousin of mine who was constantly doing that. He succumbed to stomach cancer at the age of 40. I blamed that on his staying up late and going on without proper nutrition too often. He never smoked and never drank. What else could he blame it on? It wasn’t inherited.

On my part it wasn't voluntary. I hated having to stay up all night just because my boss had to show his boss that his team of people could work right through the night if necessary. I zombied along and grumbled all the way home to bed the next morning. That wasn't working smart. That was stupid. Any kind of accident could happen when you're tired. We only succeeded in letting him know that he could further exploit us, and we'd let him do so willingly. Since we didn't have much choice those days, I stuck with that boss until I couldn't take it anymore. Then I quitted and started from scratch.

Then I read Robert Ringer's "Winning through Intimidation".

This Ringer guy didn't mince his words. He advocated that if you work hard you only end up getting old. Not rich, just old. He gave me his 'Uncle George" theory. He said probably every one of us had a relative or at least know someone who worked hard all his life keeping his nose to the wheel and who only managed to get old. I said, Hey! Here's one book which dumped all my past lessons and turned them all into cow pie overnight. Overnight was how long I took to read that book. I then took the next few days to digest it. Luckily it didn't taste like cow pie.

I found out that the Ringer guy was teaching me how to intimidate my way to the top of the pile, which means going into money-grabbing ventures and getting away with the dough. I thought that if everybody were to follow that philosophy then there'd be a whole lot more of aggression in the world, because everybody would be trying to out-intimidate everyone else, because nobody would want to lose face, and least of all, money.

And what he did was, he blew all those success philosophies to smithereens. Like, working hard, for example. He managed to convince me that most of those who became rich were actually embarrassed about how they made it. So they settled for some standard formula; something that could sell, other than luck and chance. These philosophies don't sell.

Upon further reading, I decided that I could use those ideas effectively; I only had to learn how to recognize those trying to intimidate me into giving them something for nothing. That means; not working for free, not paying money for nothing or substandard things or service, and not giving in to demands for my time when it doesn't benefit me. It also tried to tell me not to negotiate myself into a corner. I said 'tried' because it didn't succeed. I didn't manage to use it to earn and receive any substantial income. I blame it on my honesty. It (honesty) was too deeply entrenched in my head by my upbringing in the missionary school where they indoctrinated me with honesty being the best policy. There you go. Just how easy in life it is to blame someone or something else.

Later, after all these I decided to follow Michael Korda's advice that after 40 I could either dance the night away or sleep right through it. I guess that advice didn't catch on. I couldn't find any of this advice printed anywhere in the websites that feature his works. I guess taking things easy seems too cozy for those under 65 nowadays. Besides, it doesn't sell either. Anything that people value nowadays is something they have to pay for. They get them for free; they think it’s too good to be true.

Now back to those self-help books. What did they really do for me? They helped me feel good in whatever I wanted to do. I get to pick and choose what I want to believe and follow. That was all the good they ever did for me. I did all the fumbling right through life and came out with all those scratches and scars. I still thought some of it was fun. And I'm still proud that I did it my way. That wasn't my favorite song either, I just happen to like it because Frank Sinatra did it quite well.

When they asked me if I'd like to Think and Grow Rich, I asked, "Do I have do that all day?" I'd like to think about lots of other things as well. Like love, like hobbies, doodling and taking photos, having fun and spending time with family and watching my kids grow up and graduate.

While some say, enough is not enough, I'm happy enough. It could be better....but that's life.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Off to a new assignment

Life's full of uncertainties. That's for sure. You can make all your plans.... but sometimes it's better to to be flexible.

For the next few months my paint brushes and easel are going to miss me. And that guitar too.

I was just thrown an assignment to overhaul an old Foam Panel Fabrication machine and restore it into full working condition. Given a 3 month deadline. So, gotta roll up my sleeves, put on my steel capped toe boots and prepare for some greasy days ahead.

Oh, I don't actually have to do all that back-breaking work in that hot and dusty factory floor. I can just hang around in the office and find out how fast the boys can work scraping off all that hardened old stuff and what parts need replacing when it's all cleaned up and then test run that thing on D-day.

After that, well.... let's just cross the bridge only when we come to it.

How my daughter almost lost her scholarship

This is the story of how my daughter applied for a diploma course in a local private university which promised a "straight A's straight in" scholarship and the nightmare we went through just to finally obtain that scholarship.

Except for the name of the wonderful angel who helped us every step of the way, all other names have been changed to protect a few guilty ones (as expected in this wonderful country of ours)

I should be very happy my daughter has been offered a place in your University to undergo a BA (Hons) course in Graphic Design. By the results of her SPM (she obtained 8As), she believes she qualifies to obtain a scholarship, which is what I hope she would get because I do not think I can manage to finance her entire course. But the offer letter states that she has to enrol and pay for the first year's fees, etc. There has been no mention of whether she is successful or not in getting the scholarship.
What I worry about is after she enrols and starts her studies and she fails to obtain the scholarship, what happens to her? I do wish for her to pursue her dreams, but my resources are quite limited for we have to consider all expenses other than the course fees, which I thought at first I could afford, but which now I doubt.
Could you kindly advise what the process is like for a scholarship application? How long does it take? What other procedures do we follow if we opt for government loan if we fail to get scholarship? Hopefully, someone can answer some of my doubts so that my girl can proceed with her preparations to go to the University of her choice.
Thanks in anticipation of your kind reply.
L.C. Teh
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 14 June 2004 09:14
To: Teh Lian Chye
Cc: charlene@
Subject: Scholarship application
Dear Mdm Teh,
With regards to your daughter's application for the scholarship, all she
needs to do is to fill in the Straight As Straight In application form,
attached it with a copy of her I.C, SPM results and application form (entry
to Littlebigwigs University) and submit it to me. She can also apply for the PTPTN loan
for her course, but she needs to complete her foundation (first year) level
before she can apply.
If she needs any assistance on both matters, please do not hesitate to
approach me at Registry (the orange block), ground floor and I would be
happy to assist her in any way that I can.
The Straight As Straight In applications are mostly guaranteed to succeed,
especially as your daughter has 8 As which is eligible for 100% scholarship
for tuition fees only. The scholarship is only applicable for the diploma
level (which is the first 3 years of her degree course). Once she secures
the scholarship, all she needs to do is top-up for the final year of her
degree course.
Another option would be to take an EPF withdrawal which is available to
degree course students only. You may obtain a letter from us for the
withdrawal and approach the EPF office for further processing. The amount
would depend on the funds available in your account. The EPF officer will
be able to calculate the amount for you and advise you on their procedures.
Please do not hesitate to contact me at 87778888, ext. 8877 should you have
any queries. I will be most happy to assist you.
Original Message -----
From: "Teh Lian Chye"
To: <Cynthia@>
Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 1:31 PM
Subject: Fax lines still down?
> Dear Ms Cynthia,
> I managed to fax some documents to Ms Parem (Marketing) for Jenny's scholarship application. But until now, my fax utility status still shows "phone line problem".
Alternatively, I also sent the documents via e-mail. She told me the mail server was down also. I left her my handphone number but I haven't got back any response from her. Is there any problem? I need to know if she has received the documents. I will greatly appreciate your help again.
> ..............
> Kind regards,
> L.C. Teh
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 14 July 2004 15:31
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Fax lines still down?
Dear Mr Teh,
I've called Azilan of the Marketing department as soon as I received your
e-mail & he confirmed that the fax line and e-mail are both still down, but
you can fax the documents to my side & I will get her to collect them. At
the moment, Parem is on a school visit.
My fax number is 03-8888 7777. If you should encounter further problems
(touch wood, no), please do not hesitate to contact me.
Ms Cynthia,
My fax utility now says "unknown error reported by fax board". No idea where the problem is.(and these modern offices of ours don't have wood anymore for us to touch) I'm sending the zipped file attachment to you. Please do me the favor of printing them out for her.
Please let me know if you have any problems opening the files. Thanks a lot.
LC Teh

PS. And isn’t it a wonder that our communication lines can be so horrible in spite of the fact that your University is sitting right in the middle of the Multimedia SUPER Corridor?

-----Original Message-----
> From: Teh Lian Chye
> Sent: 15 July 2004 10:19
> To: 'parem@ '
> Subject: Scholarship application documents
> Dear Parem,
> I've couriered the above by DHL AWB No. 119 3552 382. You should receive
them before noon tomorrow. Please acknowledge receipt. Thanks.
> ........................................................................
> Kind regards,
> L.C. Teh
Original Message -----
From: "Teh Lian Chye"
To: <> >
Sent: Friday, July 16, 2004 3:00 PM
Subject: FW: Scholarship application documents
> Dear Ms Cynthia,
> Sorry to have to bother you again. Please check with Parem's office
whether the documents have arrived. If not I'll (either sue DHL or
hand-carry the documents to her, whichever is cheaper) bring them along when
my daughter check in to her hostel on the 23-July.
> Thanks very much. You have been most helpful. And if the occasion
permits, I'll come to the campus on our next trip and thank you personally.
> Best regards,
> LC Teh
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 16 July 2004 15:32
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Scholarship application documents
Dear Mr Teh,
Parem came to give me the documents (just now) because I'm in charge of
scholarships. All the July applications will be given to the selection
committee on the 2nd week of August for processing.
Once they've gone through the applications and have chosen the students who
will receive scholarships, I will issue the appropriate letters and forward
them to Gilly Thung (our Senior Vice President for Corporate Dev.) for
signing. I will then distribute them to the appropriate recipients once the
letters come back to me.
Normally students will have to pay up front for their fees and once they
receive approvals for their applications, they can then get a refund from
Bursary by showing them their scholarship letter.
Your daughter has 8 As and therefore is eligible to receive 100% scholarship
on her tuition fees only for the first 3 years (the Straight As Straight In
scholarship is applicable to Diploma level only). Once I receive the good
news, I will most definitely call your daughter to collect the letter from
Meanwhile, take care and have a safe trip to our campus and back home.
From: "Teh Lian Chye"
To: <> >
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 12:09 PM
Subject: Scholarship
> Dear Ms Cynthia,
> Re: scholarship application
> Pardon my impatience, but kindly update me on the status of my daughter's
scholarship application. As it is, I would like for her to carry
on whole-heartedly in her pursuit of knowledge in the field of her choice
without being troubled by the financial question. She has been wanting to
approach you with this issue but seeing that you had been rather busy, was
reluctant to do so.
> Thank you for your understanding.
> ........................................................................
> Kind regards,
> L.C. Teh
-----Original Message-----
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 28 September 2004 13:43
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Scholarship
Dear Mr Teh,
The interviews for the scholarship applicants was conducted sometime earlier
this month & all the successful applicants have been notified. According to
the person who conducted the interview (Ms Salaji from Marketing Department),
she tried calling your daughter to come for the interview but there was no
answer so she gave up.
Perhaps you can ask your daughter to see Ms Salaji and appeal for her to
conduct another interview so that it can be submitted to our Senior Vice
President, Ms Gilly Thung for consideration. Thank you.
From: Teh Lian Chye
Sent: 28 September 2004 15:08
To: ' Cynthia'
Subject: RE: Scholarship
Dear Ms Cynthia,
I can't express how disappointed I am.
First, the marketing people lost my daughter’s documents, and I had to go through so much trouble to send them by courier when the faxes couldn't get through. Now they miss her out for the interview because they couldn't get her on the phone. I wonder why they couldn't use other means of communicating with her. She had told me she wanted to see you early Sept but found that your office was always crowded. She also told me her handphone sometimes couldn't receive calls in the campus.
Anyway, I've sent her an SMS message following your instructions. In the meantime, I would really greatly appreciate if you could possibly intervene and at least give her chance to an interview. And if she's not successful after that, then at least, she's free to decide on other courses of action. Or perhaps, as promised in Littlebigwigs website, help her to source for other means of financing or scholarships from other benefactors. But somehow, I have to keep my promise to her that if she scored well, she could go to Littlebigwigs University. (And I only promised her a diploma course owing to my financial standing, but she was offered a degree course).
I was banking on the promises on your website that her 8As would guarantee her that scholarship. I had not expected to be floored by some communication problems. As her father, her dreams are my dreams. I never made it to college, but I want make everything possible to send her there. I am willing to extend myself further if she has the capability. But I have my limits.
Ms Cynthia, you have been very helpful in your capacity, and I thank you very much for that. But I sincerely hope your marketing people can live up to the promises they make in the name of Littlebigwigs University.
Your sincerely,
LC Teh.
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 29 September 2004 13:56
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Scholarship
Dear Mr Teh,
I must apologise for all the heartache that you & your family have gone
through because of the Marketing Dept. staff's negligence. I have
approached my senior and your daughter's documents were forwarded to our
Senior Vice President, Ms Gilly Thung.
Ms Gilly has instructed us to inform Ms Salaji to call & arrange for an
interview with your daughter as soon as she returns from her trip to
Myanmar. That should be sometime next week. Meanwhile, I hope that you can
hold on for a little longer and once Ms Salaji returns, I will ask her to make
arrangements with your daughter.
Thank you for your understanding and patience.
From: Teh Lian Chye
Sent: 29 September 2004 15:05
To: ' Cynthia '
Cc: ‘Jenny’
Subject: RE: Scholarship
Dear Ms Cynthia,
Thank you so much. Your reply brings such a great relief to us. And also thanks for sparing some time with my daughter this morning. She told me how friendly you are. I will forward her your good news. You are such a wonderful person. Littlebigwigs should be proud to have someone like you on its team.
LC Teh
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 30 September 2004 10:10
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Scholarship
Dear Mr Teh,
Both you and your family are wonderful people too. Thank you for your
patience and understanding. I'm glad to help wherever I can. I shall pray
for your daughter to receive 100% scholarship and that her interview will go
smoothly. Be happy!!
---- Original Message -----
From: "Teh Lian Chye"
To: " Cynthia@ >
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2004 11:56 AM
Subject: RE: Scholarship
> Dear Ms Cynthia,
> I heard the official opening of Littlebigwigs by the PM went smoothly. You and
other staffs must have worked extra hard to make it a success.
> If I seem to be one of your most bothersome students' parents, I'm sorry
about it. But it gives me no comfort not knowing what's going on about my daughter’s scholarship application. At least, by using email it doesn't bother too many people and it gives me some
consolation knowing someone in Littlebigwigs cares enough to reply.
> So please advise, has there been any progress regarding my daughter's
scholarship application?
> Thank you for your attention.
> Kind regards,
> L.C. Teh
Sent: 18 October 2004 10:22
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Scholarship
Dear Mr Teh,
I called Salaji just now and she said that Gilly has approved for your daughter
to have 100% scholarship for the Diploma level. As she is pursuing the
degree level of her course, she needs to top-up the difference only.
Salaji said that she will be passing the document with Gilly 's approval on it,
to me sometime today and I will immediately issue the letter for Gilly 's
signature. Once the letter is signed, I will call your daughter to collect
So sorry for all the delay and thank you for your patience and
----- Original Message -----
From: "Teh Lian Chye"
To: " Cynthia@ >
Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 10:04 AM
Subject: Letter of acceptance
> Dear Ms Cynthia,
> My daughter managed to send me the letter. I have signed and posted it
directly to you via Pos Ekspress #LX14 631 154 5MY this morning at 9.30am.
You should be able to receive it by tomorrow or Monday at the latest.
> Once again, thank you very much for all your efforts in helping my
daughter secure this valuable assistance in her education. It means a lot
to us. My wife and I wish to express our heart-felt appreciation.
> Best Regards,
> LC Teh
From: Cynthia@
Sent: 29 October 2004 14:12
To: Teh Lian Chye
Subject: Re: Letter of acceptance
Dear Mr Teh,
You're most welcome. God bless you and your family. Have a good weekend.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Laughter still best medicine...

Thanks Quinnie, for sending me this humorous piece. Had a real good laugh. Laughter still best medicine...

I love this Doctor
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...GOOD!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTEN!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO ... Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.