Friday, February 23, 2007

Here's my foot, Grandma

An ad on TV showed a group of schoolboys reading a newspaper and trying to pronounce a word spelt "PREOCCUPIED". They were so preoccupied to the point of missing their last bus home. It was this very same word that I remembered when sis-in-law #2 came up with this story. She's the grandma caught on the wrong footing:

Grand-daughter's 1st birthday was fast approaching. So, while the parents were away on holiday, doting grand-parents brought the little girl to the supermarket to get her a pair of new shoes. While grandpa carried the baby, grandma browsed around the shoe dept helped by a salesgirl. When they found a suitable pair, grandma proceeded to try one out for size, at the same time carrying on a conversation with the sales girl.

Both grandpa and the salesgirl were probably wondering why grandma had to squat down to try on the baby's shoe when the baby was so high up in his arms, but when grandma started to lift grandpa's foot the sales girl said, "Aiyoh Auntie ah. Why you holding uncle's foot? You're supposed to try it on the baby's foot lah!!"

"Alamak!!" Auntie was wondering why baby's leg became so dark, heavy and hairy.

Uncle 'poker-face' managed a wry smile while the rest; sales girl, grandma and fellow-shoppers had a good laugh.


Monday, February 19, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

One for the year of the PIGGY


Thanks for being tolerant of my many a PIGgy habit

And for my PORKiness 'cause I'm too lazy to keep fit

You never told me you're BOARed with my stuff

I can't stop PIGging out and never said, 'enough'

You never complained that I HOG the limelight

Always ready to give way to my PIG-headed pride

You often have to put up with my HAMmy action

But when things got hot you're ready to save my BACON

And for the years of sharing with me this little PIG pen

I can't thank you enough for PIGking me as a friend


Grab me by the hand, not by my rear end...

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Criminalise War


Pages of history and today's newspapers are filled with stories of war after war after war. It seems impossible to stop this scourge created by greed or fear, of humankind, but it is not too late to try. Let's help Tun Dr Mahathir push forward this agenda to Criminalise War. Blog about it and spread it far and wide. Like the The Great Salt March


"I want world sympathy in this battle of right against might"   - Gandhi


First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.

Mahatma Ghandi


Photo from:

Monday, February 5, 2007

Budding poets in stinking vapor

Monday blues and what have you...

I'm feeling a bit of a stink today. 

This is not helped by a forwarded mail that came my way.


Excellent poems by not so famous poets found on toilet doors and walls........

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in
I came here to shit and stink,
but all I do is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
some come here to shit and stink,
but I come here to scratch a couple of balls,
and read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire
Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please


On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the
entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your
food...please aim properly.


And now (drum roll) here's my contribution to the stink poetry:

You pay to enter toilets

You pay to piss and shit

Why pay to give away something?

Somehow, I just don't get it!