Monday, December 21, 2009

A Pain In The Neck (part 4)

...continuing the case history of my neck problem in which I 'miraculously' avoided an invasive surgery and found an alternative solution...

The Chiropractor

Date: 15-09-2005
My 2nd sis-in-law found out about my condition. She gave me a phone contact number for a chiropractor who's reputed to have performed lots of cures for cases like mine. This one came highly recommended by her. Her brother-in-law who couldn't walk because of lumbar disc problem after a motor-cycle accident can now get off his wheel-chair and go back to work.

I found out later he is a Mat Salleh, an Canadian married to a Malaysian Chinese lady. Can speak a smattering of Penang Hokkien with a western accent.

I went early, thinking that I'd have some trouble finding the place. It wasn't too difficult though. But trying to look for the signboard was more of a problem. It was placed 3 storeys up on the building they called Premier Centre. I couldn't look up straight to see it but somehow I managed to find it by turning my head sideways. Also luckily, I managed to find a parking space in front of the building.

I had to leave my shoes outside the office like everyone else. They probably just want to keep the carpets clean. There was a long queue of patients all waiting patiently. Some have their heads slanted just like mine. One guy sat next to me asked what my problem was. I told him briefly what happened to me. He then went into a presentation mode to tell me about his case. When I couldn't understand his terminology, he asked to borrow my pen. Just then the attendant called his name. Phew! That spared me the agony of listening to someone else's problem. I have enough of my own.

The chiropractor said I don't need surgery, after asking me all the necessary questions and writing the answers into my record card. "Easy to solve", he said after asking me to do some bending forward, backward and then to the left and right sides. Then he twisted me left to right, right to left and pressed the center of my back just to hear all that popping trapped-air breaking noise.

All I need, he declared, is about 12 sessions of spinal twisting and neck bending where it hurts the most. Ugh!!! He put my head and neck into a bending jig and pressed the frigging thing 3 times. Only the ends of my hair (or whatever that's left) didn't feel the pain. I felt tears running down both sides of my face.

Photo on the right shows a printout of an Infrared scan. Red bars indicate where the pain is most intense. See a large red bar on the bottom? We'll speculate about that one later...

Next session, he promised he will increase the number of times. He said, "No pain, no gain", again and again, as if I haven't heard of it before. Whenever I said, "argh!!!!" and he said, that's expected. I wanted to ask him if he learned it from the Gestapo, but I was panting and couldn't find my voice. It seems it has to get worse before it gets better. After the torture, he placed an ice-pack under my neck until the throbbing pain subsided.

Then he stuck a couple of wires on the back of my neck and connected me to some electrical pulsating machine and tickled my nerves. It jerked my shoulders up and down (some kind of involuntary shrugging), and massaged the back of the neck.

I hope he knows what he's doing. His card says he's B.Sc., DC, Doctor of Chiropractic, Life University (USA). He wants to see me back in two days for more torture.... and to think I'm paying him for it!!

chi·ro·prac·tic (kr-prktk)
A system of therapy in which disease is considered the result of abnormal function of the nervous system. The method of treatment usually involves manipulation of the spinal column and other body structures.

[chiro- + Greek prktikos, practical]

chiro·practor n.

to be continued...

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