Julie Andrews Became A Legend

So what's new...

I practically grew up with Julie Andrews. From the 'Sound of Music' to the 'Sound of Music'.... There was no other movie I can recall that made so much impact on me. I watched that movie on TV twice (at each re-run). And I taped it. And I watched it again (and I stopped counting...)

Back then in 1970s there were a few of her shows in black and white, one in particular with Dick Van Dyke. She went, "...these are a few of my favorite sings"... and they both laughed.

She's my favorite singer/actress of all time....

"Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental >fittings
Bundles of magazines tied up in string
These are a few of my favorite things".....

But this jokey one, I just happened to try to find if it's on You-tube... guess what I found instead?

Yep...t'was an urban legend.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp

I love it anyway.

Some lesser known facts(?)

Vikas should love this... Someone just e-mailed to me.

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If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

 

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!) 

 

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

 

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

 

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

 

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

 

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

 

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

 

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

 

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

 

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)

 

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

 

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

 

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

 

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

 

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

 

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

 

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

 

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

 

In other words, send it to everyone!   (And God love that pig!)

 

 

Machap & Ijok - "Buy Elections".

Before this, how many Malaysians ever heard about these two towns?  They might as well be in Timbuktu.

Maybe that's what they'd call dark benefits. Some MP dies and the re-election campaign brings blessings like new roads, community halls, street lights, and promises of development the likes of which they seldom see if the bl**dy guy was still alive. More or less like getting an inheritance from a miserly rich dad who's just cashed in!!!

It gets boring but it's great for town folks who live here.  For once they see some celebrations and progress.  Maybe after this voting exercise, they go back to being the sleepy hollows as usual.  Promises?  What promises?

Here are several other peoples' opinions

Enough said.

If in doubt, ask

 

There are e-mails and there are forwarded e-mails.   Here's one forwarded mail that created a doubt, and my policy is; if in doubt, ask.  I did.  And here's the result of my enquiry to EPF (Employees' Provident Fund): 

1
This is the original mail:

 Dear All,
 Just to share with you my recent experience with EPF nomination of
beneficiary.
 Years ago I nominated my beneficiaries but when I checked on my EPF
status  yesterday I discovered that my beneficiaries were not
registered. In fact  according to EPF records I do not have any
beneficiaries listed....blank  !!
 Subsequent enquiries showed that I am not the only one experiencing
this.
 One possibility why this happened could be the migration of data when
EPF  upgraded their system some years ago.
 For your family's sake, suggest you clarify with EPF to ensure that
your  beneficiaries are updated.
 Better safe than sorry.......
 P/s.........does not apply to our Muslim frens cos' they are under
Syariah  laws.

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2

This came with the attachment.

 

Subject: FW: EPF nominations name was gone

No wonder there are a lot of " Unclaimed " over past 10 years !
Suggest we better random check every year ....

 

please check your EPF norminations! EPF change new system on
31/12/2006,  guess the conversion missed out the beneficiary file.

 I went yesterday with my wife and shock to find out that both our a/cs
do  not have any beneficiary. We are very sure that we had personally
gone to  EPF office together and updated our record and now all the
records are  gone.
 Reason given by the officer was " Saya pun tidak dapat jawab lah,
munkin  sudah sampai masa kamu check sendiri".
 Two of my friends went to check after receiving my e-mail also found
the  same answer - No record.
 cc. to friends & colleagues - Strongly advise to check your EPF
records.
 Thanks

 

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3

I wrote to EPF asking for clarification.

 

From:  (Me)
Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2007 8:28 AM
To: Enquiry@Jab Pentadbiran
Subject: FW: EPF nominations name was gone

Dear Sir/Mdm,

 

I have been receiving many messages as per below example.  Kindly explain if this situation is true or not.  I am worried.

I would like to check my status online.  When will that feature be ready?

 

Thanks for your attention.

 

regards,

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4

And this is the reply from EPF

 

Dear Mr Teh,

 

Thank you for your mail.

 

We noticed that many of this mails have been spreading through.  However,  if  nomination has been registered it will not be lost in record.  Herewith, I am attaching our press release on nomination issue.  Hope you can also help us to forward it to the  sender for his better understanding.  In a way, curbing the spread of this untrue news.

 

Hope you get a clearer understanding after this.

 

Thank you and have a good day.

 

Enquiry

llc

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5

with this attachment (word for word):

 

KUMPULAN WANG SIMPANAN PEKERJA

 

Kumpulan Wang Simpanan Pekerja (KWSP) ingin menjelaskan bahawa penamaan yang telah dibuat oleh ahli terhadap simpanan mereka masih ada dalam rekod KWSP.

 

Penjelasan ini dibuat berikutan timbul kekeliruan apabila ahli menyemak status penamaan mereka di kaunter KWSP atau melalui penyata kira-kira yang diperolehi pada tahun ini dan mendapati tiada rekod penamaan yang dicatatkan.

 

Untuk makluman ahli, setakat ini hanya 2.2 juta ahli telah didaftarkan penamaan yang mereka buat ke dalam sistem komputer baru KWSP. Manakala lebih kurang 2 juta penamaan lagi daripada ahli masih belum direkodkan ke dalam sistem tersebut.

 

KWSP sedang mengambil tindakan untuk mengemaskini rekod penamaan ahli ini ke dalam sistem komputer di bawah projek khas yang dijangka akan  diselesaikan dalam bulan September 2007.

 

Di bawah sistem baru ini, borang penamaan akan disimpan dalam bentuk imej dan butiran penama juga akan dikuncimasuk ke dalam sistem. Dengan cara ini semakan terhadap penamaan ahli boleh dibuat secara online.

 

Ini merupakan proses penambahbaikan yang dilaksanakan KWSP kerana di bawah sistem lama hanya status penamaan (ada/tidak) dimasukkan ke dalam sistem komputer sedangkan butiran terperinci mengenai penama disimpan secara manual.

 

Oleh itu, ahli diminta supaya tidak bimbang kerana penamaan mereka yang telah dibuat sebelum ini adalah masih sah dan rekod tersebut selamat dalam simpanan KWSP.

  

 

(NIK AFFENDI JAAFAR)

Pengurus Kanan

Perhubungan Awam

Kumpulan Wang Simpanan Pekerja

 

Tarikh: 12 Februari 2007

 

Recycle

Next time someone in your house buys a PC, don't let him throw out those PE foam protective inserts. Turn them into useful objects. Here's one example. A tooth-brush holder. Just cut vertical slots that can fit your toothbrushes. Cut the slots smaller than your brush handle so that they can hold the brush firmly. Apply some contact glue on your painted or tiled wall and also the flat side of your tooth-brush holder and stick it on after the glue is properly dry. I wouldn't recommend double-sided tape. The PE material doesn't stick well with tape.

 

These shoes are made for walking...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've worn lots of shoes and I've worn out lots of them too. Those I haven't worn out were ones that looked good but hurt my feet or get pebbles in them everytime I walk over unpaved or pot-holed roads. Their mouths are too open.

After walking many miles in these, I can declare they are best pair of walking shoes I ever put my feet in. And at RM39.99, they're a steal. Who needs shoes that cost half a fortune?

If any shoe designer from Bata is reading this, please note; don't shelf this design yet. Make more. They're light-weight, no zips, velcro or shoe-laces to fiddle with. Just slip on and you're ready to go. And besides, you won't get pebbles sticking to the soles and they're easy to clean. Good for lazy blokes…like me.

Honey, shall we go one more round?

 

A week at the gym

Here's a nice forwarded e-mail story that's worth (I think) to send around.  But I think I'd rather post it here.  Don't forget to read my reply to the sender....

 

A WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY

Dear Diary.

For my sixty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college tennis team 45 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress

MONDAY
started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!  Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill.  She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!  Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, all though my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.  Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!!  It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning. And when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.  My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.  She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.  I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room.  She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.  Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader.  If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!  And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the M----- f----- barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner.  However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife (the bitch) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a vasectomy.

 

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Dear Jayne and friends,

 

hahahahahahahaha....

 

My conclusion about gyms;

 

1st. they give it to you in a nice cute-looking package like Belinda.

Then they sell you the 'no pain, no gain' propaganda.

 

If at 40 you don't need the gym, at 65 you don't need it either...

You can live to 95 just walking around the block daily,

Just try not to step into any monsoon drain

Or into the road before an on-coming vehicle.

Carry an umbrella (not the folded type)

It serves as rain/sun shelter,

Weapon against dogs or would-be robbers.

Or walking stick

Or hook up aluminium cans from drains (they sell for 7cents a piece)

Never waste your time and money going to a gym....

 

Hopefully none of you runs a gym.

If you do, don't forward this.

 

cheers.