How you'd get around in Heaven.

This Heavenly joke came all the way from my school days:

Three men died and went to heaven.  They met St. Peter at the gate.

Peter told them, " You're all gonna get cars up here for transport, but if you were bad you get a crappy car, if you were good you'd get a great car."

And so Peter asked the first guy, " John, did you cheat on your wife while you were alive?"
John said, " No.  Never..."

Peter said, " Your'e lying, we know because it's recorded.  So here's a 69 Volkswagon.  It needs a lot of work."

The next guy Joe stepped forward and Peter asked him, " Did you cheat on your wife Joe?"

Joe replied, " Well yes, I did while we were in high school."

Peter replies, " We know cause it's recorded.  Here's a 1974 Chevy Caprice.  It needs a lot of work."

Finally old Mr. Jones came forward and Peter asked him the same question.  So old Mr Jones replied, " No, as a matter of fact I never even cheated on her in high school."

Peter said, " We know cause it's recorded.  So here's a top of the line Rolls Royce fully loaded.  Congratulations!"

The next day John's car got stuck on the road so he kicked and cussed it.  Then he saw Mr Jones in his Rolls Royce across the road, head banging on the driving wheel crying.  So he went over and asked him, "Why are you crying, Mr Jones?  I should be the one crying cause my crappy old car broke down.  But you should be laughing all over Heaven."

Mr Jones wailed, "I just saw my wife.  She was wheeling by on a skate-board!"

Ssssnake In The House!!!

It's still a jungle out here I suppose.  Our friendly house seems to be attracting all the wrong company.  There used to be stray cats, musangs, monkeys, bees...  Then there are also snakes.

This morning as soon as I got into the office, wifey called.  She said there's one in the house.  I clearly heard the tremble in her voice.  I quickly locked the office and drove back home.

Probably due to the current hot and dry weather and the depleted patches of greenery around the neighborhood, it was heading for a cooler place to hide during the day.  It just happened to find its way to my front door and slid into the house.  It raised its head and hissed at wifey in between the hallway and dining room, right in front of our bedroom door. 

That was when she called me on the phone.  Then she waited until it tried to snake its way under the screen door into the bedroom.  She then made a dash to the front porch, grabbed hold of a can of Mortein H2O and gave it a huge dose of the spray.  It was stunned for a while, and because of the wet terrazzo it couldn't crawl away.

Then she grabbed a can of acidic floor cleaner from the kitchen and gave it another dousing.  Fearing it may revive and give us the slip, she quickly went to the kitchen, filled a pot with water and heated it up.

By the time I arrived the critter was almost dead but still wriggling around.  I whacked it a few times with a stick just to make sure. I noticed the tell-tale icon on the back of its head; a pair of spectacles.  It was a baby Cobra.  Small, but just like its parents, mean and menacing when confronted. So when wifey came out with the boiling water I turned the thing into a coiled sausage.

Certain intruders are definitely not welcomed.

By the way, this is not a picture of the one that came a visiting.
In my hurry to get home to save a damsel in distress I left my camera in the office.

Cold Sweat...

Want to know what it feels like when your finger slipped (or is it the mind?) and you punched the wrong button which deleted the partition on the disk containing all your customer's important data?

Yeah... cold sweat... And with the customer breathing down our necks, checking every few minutes wanting to know when we can deliver the restored PC, it wasn't an easy job. 

Jeff and I searched the internet for every data recovery software available, hoping to undo the damage.  One software managed to scan and showed us the files we lost but it ended there.

1900hrs:  I didn't have the energy to go on so I called it a day and went home.  But Jeff wasn't the type to give up that easily.  He went on working at it. 

He just sent me a message at 2300hrs and said we can sleep well tonight.  He did it!!!  He undeleted the partition and recovered the precious data!!!  I call that persistence!

Move over, Mr. Bond...

The gadget guys in the secret service must be wringing their hands in frustration. 

These gadgets below come in many forms and can be easily plugged in anywhere.  Seems, there's nowhere to hide theses days...

Since it's inevitable (or we assume) do spare a mask (or a paper bag with eye-holes) in your bag, and be ready to use it when you enter supermarket or swimming pool changing rooms, toilets, etc...  A photo of you in birthday clothes will be worthless if nobody can recognize you.  I learned that from a story I heard:  

Some folks were caught gallivanting in the nude by some photographers and everybody cover their privates with whatever they got.  One guy simply covered his face with his hands.  When asked why he did that, he simply said, "Who cares about looking at a naked body if they can't recognize that face?"

Oh.  And don't be shy in sharing this MASSAGE....  hahahahaha....

 

Bees - Another Story From Our Mango Tree.

She was sweeping the fallen leaves from under the mango tree outside the gate.  I was sitting in the porch with a neighbor discussing the next Rukun Tentangga event.  Suddenly she threw away her broom and was yelling and sweeping her face and arms and running into the porch.

Midget bees!  Miniature in size but aggressive when their nest is disturbed.

I quickly rose and went to her aid.  A few of them were still trying to attack her.  I tried to wave them away.  They wanted to attack me.  I swept at them with my bare hands.  Strangely they weren't keen to attack me.  They backed off. 

Obviously she had taken a swipe at what she thought was a bunch of dried leaves with the broom.  That bunch of leaves turned out to be a bee-hive.  I thought we were lucky she hadn't brought down the whole thing!  And luckily those stings weren't venomous.  They caused some pain and itchiness lasting a few days. 


I decided I had to get rid of them.  But not knowing how they'd react if I burn their nest, I decided to call the fire brigade.  The guy asked me what's the problem.  I told him.

They came in their big fire-truck and half a dozen guys.  First guy said to burn the nest.  Another asked me for a can of aerosol bug destroyer.  I said I don't have any.  He told me to go and buy one.  I looked at him in disbelief.  Anyway I managed to borrow one from a neighbor.

He sprayed at the nest liberally.  Most of the bees flew away.  Then he asked for some old newspapers.  He lighted them and torched the nest.  Then he asked for a pair of cutters and a plastic bag.  Then he asked for a stool.  He cut the nest and stuffed it into the plastic bag and handed everything back to me.

I asked him what should I do with the nest.  He said, 'Throw it away'.

The next day the bees were back trying to rebuild their nest.  I got myself a can of water-based insecticide and did the fire brigade thing on them myself.

Sometimes when they get in each others way, man and nature just can't co-exist without friction.  Pity.

Perth In The Spring

They said there's nothing interesting in Perth.  I didn't think so.  And I was right.  I came, I saw and enjoyed most of it.  Other people probably see Perth as something else.  Like the guy at the immigration who greeted me with, 'Welcome to Perth!  Enjoy the Casino!!'  I laughed.  I wasn't there for some luck and chance.  Gambling isn't my cup-of-tea anyway.

I was there to take it easy.  For a change of scenery and a feel of the cool crisp air of spring when flowers bloom and birds sing (and crows cawing in their Aussie accent)... and the call of the kookaburra in the old gum tree (nah... that's another old Aussie folk song I remember from ages ago) and the stirrings of sweet romance among our group of young friends thrown into the setting.  And the ever-present seagulls that seem to be all over the city, not just around the harbor of Fremantle.  All these blend in beautifully with the trip and is etched into my memory of Perth.

We stayed a few days to witness my niece's convocation at UWA.


We then traveled south in rented cars guided by GPS and stayed a couple of days in a farmhouse in Margaret River, an area famous for its winery, chocolates, honey and other farm products.  We had ice-cream at Simmo's.  We went to the Sugar-loaf Rocks and the Canal Rocks and stared at the in-coming surf and listened to the mighty roar of the waves from the Indian Ocean.  We were fascinated by myriads of colorful flowers growing on hill slopes and among the rocks.

We also 'crawled' our way into one of the many caves in the Leeuwin Naturaliste Ridge region.

Different people see different things.  And different people see things differently.  We see mostly what we want to see.


I was up and about one cold morning roaming along the perimeter of the farm overlooking a huge meadow.  An older traveling companion remarked that there's nothing here.  He saw that there's nothing of value growing on the farm.  No fruit trees, cattle, sheep nor crops.  Couldn't fault him for that.  He's a business-man.

He wasn't looking at the things I saw through my camera's lenses.  A lovely scene of fresh, green serenity on a beautiful spring morning.

Dear children

Dear children


We are at home




We are home

Always will be

Wherever that may be



We will always be

Home

To you

We will always be

Home

For you