For some of the things in life I'd always wanted to do, I used to be set back by the "WHAT IFs". When I started to keep a diary, it was the inevitable first question: "What if some people read this? They'll think this is silly. So, ok I leave out all the silly entries. How about fantasies? Or those dark, deep, revengeful, secret thoughts that I harbour of certain people who used to ride rough-shod over me? ("Oh...and I always thought he's such a nice guy, huh!") Ok, so I only write about what I do during the day. But so boring lah...who wants to know about what I do all day? Aha, so you actually want to write for people to read, right? Yes lah. Otherwise what's the purpose of writing it?
When I thought about writing my journals (yes, my own book, or my own web blog) again I had to face the "What ifs". What if I offend certain people? What if I produce the wrong facts? What if people think I'm stupid for writing such trifles? So don't write on religion. It's a sensitive thing to some people. Politics – it's dangerous if you step on the toes of those in power. Think, think, think, but all these thoughts are in the opposite direction of what I intended to do. Now, that left me with nothing to write about. So I close the page and go back to dream again. Blame it on 'writer's block'. (For those who don't know, it means something that blocks your mind from thinking whenever you want to write.)
Then I thought, hey, if I had analysed everything so thoroughly before I did it, I'd never have done anything in my life! Since when I was still wet behind my ears, I'd done lots of things without thinking too much about them. Why should I do that now? So I changed my "What If" to "What the Heck!" I'll just do it! (Yes. I love that Nike commercial!) I've now progressed to throwing away some inhibitions (to a certain extent only, no baring everything - don't wanna get charged with indecent exposure). I'll just write what I know to be correct and truthful, sincerely from the bottom of my heart and try to avoid being offensive. I promise not to jump to conclusions. (If my fingers slipped on the keyboard it's not my fault!).
Then the next question: "What for?" Well, if my scribblings help enlighten any of you folks out there in any way at all, I'll be happy. I'll just keep rambling on happily about any subject I can think of. Maybe you can suggest topics for me to write about too. At this moment of course it's better than twiddling thumbs. It's tough, pretending to be busy....