Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Team work - Do your job or you're finished.

What do you do with a team member who first starts to hang loose, then he neglects his job, then refuses to carry his part of the team responsibility and eventually proceeds to work against the rest of the team?  Decision: Remove him.  End of story.

I'm talking about the second molar on the right next to a reclining idiot tooth.  They call that 'wisdom tooth but I prefer to give it my own description.  It shows up at the wrong time, at the wrong place and it's never useful.  And sometimes it even cause damage to the one next to it by crowding and shoving.  But this one, I can't blame it because there's quite a gap in between them.  Last I checked they weren't touching each other.  Yet. 

Ok, maybe due to inability to stay clean, it started to attract bacteria and finally infected the one next to it.

Isn't that how things happen when you work in a team?  Sometimes bad guys who quietly work behind the scenes do their damage but they go scot free.

So, this molar, the one I kicked out, raised itself higher than the rest of the teeth and I finally found I couldn't bite anything with my incisors without raising hell (of a pain).

I gave him the marching orders last night.  Next, I better watch the bl**dy reclining idiot...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address

from ASSOCIATED PRESS

OBAMA: My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Some old place... some old story.

Every time you mention a place someone comes up with a story behind it.  A colleague asked about my kids.  I said the youngest is in National Service camp.

Where?  She asked.

Sik.  A jungle clearing on the edge of a kampung. A place called Kem Rimba Taqwa.  I said.

Oh...  That place is not very clean.  She said.  It's an ex-army camp.

Yeah, you're right.  They haven't started the clean up job yet.  The facilities aren't quite up to expectations.  You know, maintenance isn't one of our strong points.

No, I don't mean that.  I mean, that place is spooky.

How do you know?

My father-in-law was a staff sargeant stationed there many years ago.  One night the captain was reading in his room by candle-light.  Suddenly, he noticed that the candle was moving slowly from one end of his desk to another.  He ignored it.  The candle moved again slowly back to its original place.  The third time it moved, he decided he's had enough.  He drew his pistol and cocked it. 

"Do that again and I'll shoot," he warned.  The candle stopped moving.  He finished his reading and went to bed.

Next morning, on his way to breakfast, the captain fell down a flight of stairs. 

On his hospital bed he vehemently declared that someone pushed him.

Well, it's been many years since then and many national service trainings have been carried out in that camp.  Any old ghost would have shied away from that place.  I don't think they feel comfortable staying around humans either.  But it would be wise not to challenge them.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

An Affair with Golf


I love golf balls.  I don’t play golf though.  Did a number of tee-off shots while I was in Genting’s Awana club some years ago just because I got challenged by our CEO.  I’m kind of suspicious he doesn’t take kindly to people who don’t play golf.  Anyway my only relationship with golf is; I keep a golf club by my bedside.  One that a neighbor wanted to throw away.  That is for adjusting the air conditioner flaps manually.  If you think that’s for security, my opinion is that it wouldn’t serve any real purpose if there’s an intruder in the house.  I believe the better answer would be to make as much noise as possible, like triggering the car alarm, for example, to scare him away rather than confront him.  But it's still better to keep something handy just in case.

My only other involvement with golf is I’m in the habit of picking up stray golf balls in, of all places, football fields.  I think there are some budget conscious wannabe golfers who find the tee-off practice ranges at the clubs are charging too much for their pockets.  So they do their stuff at housing estate football fields.  I think they pose a danger to kids and other residents, but so far I haven’t heard of any complain yet.  The drawback is that they lose their balls often.  I must have picked up at least 4 of these around the fields in our four adjoining housing estates.

The 5th one cannot be counted because the guy was still practicing at one corner of the field.
That was one early morning when we were passing through the field.  I said to wife, 'Someone just lost another golf ball'.  I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket.  Someone said, 'Aah!'  Then I saw him.  He was standing near a clump of trees in a far corner of the field with a club on his shoulder.  Embarrassed, I said, 'Sorry. I thought it’s someone’s lost ball.'  I placed it back on the ground.  He said, 'It’s ok, you can have it.'  Generous guy, I thought.  I said, 'No, thanks.' 

I think nobody’s doing tee-off practices on football fields after that.

Now, the thing I noticed about golf balls is that they’re made to perfect symmetry.  You can place one on a flat surface and the tiny flat area on top of the ball would be perfectly central directly opposite the tiny flat area on the bottom.  That’s how I could clamp one on a bench drill and make a hole right through the center

of the ball.  4 balls drilled this way are enough for me to replace the 4 pesky casters on my wife’s clothes drying rack. Those casters came with fine American inch-thread fittings for which I couldn’t find replacements anywhere after running through every hardware shop and supermarket in town.  Almost had to throw away the whole rack just for want of some spare tires.

So, it’s thanks to budget conscious golf players.


Sunday, December 28, 2008

That empty nest feeling...

When they were small we sometimes wished our kids would grow up faster.  Hell was when they were sick or naughty.  And the fun was when they were cute and when they achieved something for themselves.  Agony was when they went camping with other scouts, and later when they went out with friends and stayed out late.  All too soon they were grown up and one after another, started to leave home for further education.  And then they moved on to work in the city.   

Yesterday my funny girl, the baby of the family went off to National Service camp.  And now it’s so quiet and the house does begin to feel like an empty nest.  That perhaps explains why some neighbors end up keeping dogs and pampering them like they’re their own kids.  Others turn their homes into baby-sitting centers.  We don’t like having animals in the house and wife doesn’t intend to go back to baby-sitting, (especially other peoples' pampered brats...) 

Those who've gone on before me would like to say, 'so, what's new'?  I’m going out to look for a better guitar to replace the old worn out and weather-beaten China made ‘Kapok’.  Oh, for a rocking chair too.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Honest + Simple = Loyalty?

Damien's comments in Damien's Den triggered these thoughts:

Cousin Sheow Sun once told me about a Chinese book that described 'the Ugly Chinese'. It had one story that described two types of employees. One was a straightforward simple person who, if given instructions to buy 10 oranges, would go out to the nearest shop and get the items and come back without question, with the goods and the change. Another given the same instructions, would go out and shop around for the best and cheapest oranges he could find and come back with the goods and the change.

The typical Chinese employer would rather hire the 1st guy than the 2nd guy. Why? He can trust the 1st guy. To him, the 2nd guy seems to have a more devious mind. In other words, the employer prefers an honest and simple employee to a street-smart and intelligent one because in the presence of the latter, he has to keep watching his back. Thus, honest + simple = loyalty.  

Well, that story was told me about 30 years ago. I don't know if Chinese world-view has changed or not over these years or will it ever. Perhaps not, because that old saying, "Rivers and mountains can be altered but but human character will remain unchanged".  Perhaps that explains why some family fortunes never last more than 3 generations.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Engineers



This one's too good to let pass.  Just sums up everything Dilbert says except in more words.  Since I ain't a qualified engineer, not all these qualities apply to me.  I have immunity whenever I screw up.  And I just use the 'Rules of the Lab' liberally to cover up.  Of course, the Titanic wasn't the engineer's fault.  It was human EGO all the way to the bottom.

Thanks, Jayne.

__________________



SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction.

"Normal" people expect to accomplish several
unrealistic things from social interaction:

*Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

*Important social contacts

*A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:

*Get it over with as soon as possible.

*Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

*Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:

(1)things that need to be fixed, and (2)things that will
need  to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them.
Engineers  like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they  will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this  concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't
fix it. Engineers  believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
enough features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without
wondering what  it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer
can take a shower  without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating
would make showering  unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a
toy box full of  sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming
the basic  thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied.
If no  appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia
or  mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective
of  clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

LOVE OF "STAR TREK"

Engineers love all of the "Star Trek" television
shows and movies. It's  a small wonder, since the engineers on the
starship Enterprise are  portrayed as heroes, occasionally even having
sex with aliens. This is  much more glamorous than the real life of
an engineer, which consists of  hiding from the universe and having
sex without the participation of  other life forms.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will
employ various  indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false
impression of  attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing
appearance above  function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are
widely  recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
 employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that
many  normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal
people  harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing
engineer-like children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing
their  virginity.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness
later than  normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their
mid thirties  to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually
irresistible  men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

* MacGyver.

* Etcetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent
and remain  that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical
death. Longer  if it's a warm day.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and
human  relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers
away from  customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't
handle the  truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They
say things that  sound like lies but technically are not because nobody
could be expected  to believe them. The complete list of engineer
lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."
"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."
"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because
of cheapness or  mean spirit; it is simply because every spending
situation is simply a  problem in optimization, that is, "How
can I escape this situation while  retaining the greatest amount of
cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it
is the ability to  concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion
of everything else  in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers
to be pronounced  dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech
areas have started  checking resumes before processing the bodies.
Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped  up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.


RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever
they can. This  is understandable, given that when an engineer makes
one little mistake,  the media will treat it like it's a big deal
or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg.

* Space Shuttle Challenger.

* SPANet(tm)

* Hubble space telescope.

* Apollo 13.

* Titanic.

* Ford Pinto.

* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something
like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of
innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic
frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance
of risks and  rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The
best way to avoid  risk is by advising that any activity is technically
impossible for  reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project,
then the engineer  will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's
technically possible  but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem
is to declare that  the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk
away from an unsolvable  problem until it's solved. No illness or
distraction is sufficient to  get the engineer off the case. These
types of challenges quickly become  personal -- a battle between the
engineer and the laws of nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to
solve a problem.  (Other times just because they forgot.) And when
they succeed in  solving the problem they will experience an ego rush
that is better than  sex--and I'm including the kind of sex where
other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion
that  somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use
that  knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer.
When an  engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase
that means it's  not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned
to glance at the

engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something
along these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to
solve difficult technical problems."

===================================================================================

Rules of the lab

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail
the same way each time.

3. First draw your curves, then plot your data.

4. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.

5. A record of data is essential, it shows you were working.

6. To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before
you start.

7. To do a lab really well, have your report done well
in advance.

8. If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start
at the answer and derive the question.

9. If that doesn't work, start at both ends and try to
find a common middle.

10. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

11. Do not believe in miracles---rely on them.

12. Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone
else.

13. All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely
toxic poisons.

14. Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will
break before any use can be made of it. (Law of Spontaneous Fission)